In part one of this series, I discussed “winning” in negotiation – with the motive of validating those women who want to win fairly at the bargaining table and of demystifying some of the obstacles that keep them from doing so.
When negotiating with another person or group, you are trying to either buy or sell something, or trying to change view and opinions – in either case, the best results stem from “communication skills.”
The initial activity of smart negotiation is “research” – i.e., of gathering useful information while resisting the temptation to make any decisions. Good communication skills allow you to win people over and gain as much information as possible from them without betraying your own values or secrets.
The subsequent activity of smart negotiation is to communicate well-crafted and creative proposals – or to actively consider or counter the proposals of the other side. And the key aspect of crafting great negotiation deals is communication.
It is commonly taken for granted that women are better communicators than men, and yet here is a man offering women advice on communicating in negotiations – the reason is that the vast majority of both men and women make serious communication mistakes in business.
It is my experience with the women who I have coached in negotiation that when they are committed to and active-minded about really understanding communicative issues, they gain a wonderful new level of success, relaxed self-confidence, and stellar reputation. And here is the structure of what I recommend:
Face-to-Face. Negotiate face-to-face wherever possible.
Consistency. Being inconsistent in communicating makes someone seem flaky and unreliable. Someone who has irregular patterns and content cannot be trusted.
Absolute Accuracy. It is fundamentally important to never say or communicate anything that isn’t correct.
Vision and Clarity. A great negotiator is able to create and present an attractive vision or idea that other wants to buy into and accept.
Proper Grammar. Poor grammar communicates a lack of value, interest, education and intelligence. How does someone expect to negotiate a meaningful business deal when the other party doesn’t have confidence that they can even write out the contract?
Don’t Drive Agendas. Someone who drives an agenda is manipulative. He or she provides their feelings or subjective evaluation of the facts before or without providing the actual facts.
Say Things Nicely. There is rarely a need to be rude or harsh when telling someone something controversial about themselves or their product – saying such things nicely takes effort and sensitivity.
Admit the Negatives. Admit mistakes or negativity without blame, excuse or qualification.
Deliver Bad News Promptly. If you have something negative or controversial you need to tell someone, you lose trust, friendship and appreciation by sitting on the information.
Relevancy. Agreement can be thwarted by detracting from the relevant context and from what’s germane or at hand.
Don’t Banter Aimlessly. There is always proper context and timing for being carefree in communicating, and the midst of negotiating is neither the right context nor time.
Part 3 … STAY TUNED!
Rob Flitton
www.robflitton.com
